Aight, so this one might be a little gross but I don’t care! Don’t read it if you don’t want to know!
My girlfriend and I had a wonderful meal of soy patties with corn as a side dish, and I got to thinking (as I tend to do from time to time). Have you ever pooped and there was whole fucking pieces of corn in it?! I mean come on it’s just you reading this, you can be honest with yourself. I’m not saying that I have! I uhhh just heard it happens to other people once and a while. So yeah I did some intense research, well not that intense, and got some answers!
From what I found it all has to do with our digestive tract and our ever changing bodies.
Back in the day when our great great great great great times like a million grandparents ate (I’m talking cavemen/women) their digestive tracts weren’t exactly the same as ours (no shit right? figuratively of course not literally). Cave-folk didn’t eat a lot of meat, and their digestive tract was a lot longer which made it easier to digest plants and veggies and some crazy ancient berry we’ve never heard of. There’s also some theory the appendix had something to do with digesting too (I guess it doesn’t do a fucking thing now?)
Cave-peeps also had different teeth. Their teeth were bigger, and their mouths were too. So instead of getting your wisdom teeth pulled when you were a teen and given some Vicodin to pop, the mother fuckers actually fit in your mouth! and could mash the plants and what not to nice little bits before swallowed.
So back to the present, if you inhale your food like a sow, your going to probably swallow some pieces whole. On top of that, the digestive system today isn’t as good at digesting plants, much less whole kernels. The little corn goes through our stomach and intestines, and appear in our poo! (Well your poo, not mine. Like I said before it’s never happened to me.)
That’s it! If you don’t want to see those little yellow monsters in your poopy anymore, stop inhaling your food and chew the fuck out of it!
Oh how interesting the world is! Maybe you feel a bit smarter now? Maybe not. But hey now you can at least hit up the cute girl in gym class with a fun fact about her fecal matter! You’re welcome!
Have a good one everybody. Goodnight, and god bless.